Trauma from parents reddit. 90% of relationships started before age .

Trauma from parents reddit The piercing was spur of the moment. Narcissistic parents project their fear, pain and inadequacies onto you because their parents did it to them. I I had rejected myself, after my parents rejected me, so people picked up on that, and rejected me. None of my childhood trauma is caused by my parents' separation per se, it stems mostly from my father being an asshole. My parents experienced their first severe traumas when they were very young. Yes, trauma, because the cheater is absent emotionally and physically with their AP, constantly thinking about them WHILE their family waits around for them to actually be present for once. , while my parents were both born in the early 60s and did not have to witness any wars first-hand. If parents don’t say anything, neighbours and relatives will send you on a guilt trip. It's not always evil parents and the abuse. Really interesting and does a good job of explaining why trauma survivors often don’t have a clear memory of the event. Premium Powerups . Just bc others have it worse doesn't mean you don't have it bad, and it doesn't make your trauma any less valid. For years now I have feared the future and not being able to get out because fear has literally programmed into my brain. Learn to take your parents for who they are. I grew up with one parent always raising their voice at me and always saying mean things to me. The problem with finding someone to fill it for you, is that when you build a home in somebody else, you’re “homeless” when they leave. Obviously no kid wants to hear their parents having sex, but if it's nighttime and the kid happens to wake up and hear their parents doing the deed, I wouldn't say that counts as child abuse either. Don’t infantilise old people. (Dollar store I’ve been thinking a lot about intergenerational trauma, not only in the sense of the behaviours that are passed down, but in the sense that trauma freezes its “victim” in time. It sounds impossible, I know, I still think I’m over reacting most of the time that my life must have been normal - but each person I tell about my While big traumas will effect everyone, little traumas often get overlooked and gaslit. People who want to learn more about the Looking for books to help me deal with and heal from childhood trauma of 'loving' parents. Use it as a means to understand 'Why' if that helps, but don't let it become a free pass for the hurt you got Those of you with childhood trauma caused by parent(s); how is your relationship today? I decided to cut mine off after realising what actually happened and what they have done to me. The difference in my case is that my parent was hospitalized for months. I for one cannot fathom doing to my daughter what was done to me. Members Online • narcabusesurvivor18. It's not always easy to spot emotional abuse, and even more if it comes from your close family. A little under 2 years ago, my dad was assaulted by a schizophrenic guy and due to the severe head trauma he endured, he no longer could speak or remember anyone. It took me alot of healing and therapy to realise that I will never be abandoned again because I have me now, I will never abandon myself, I will never throw myself under the bus to seek validation and love from others, mainly those who aren't even capable of giving. I'm glad for the health both of Also, pretty sure most people have heard their parents screwing before and aren't walking around traumatized. Marriage is over. They get offended if you want to throw things away or call the house dirty. Overall, I really liked Encanto. This is why you hear horror stories about residency. naturally, me and A got close and we all just became a trio since we like to do the same activities. You are worthy of love. Get app Get the Reddit app Log In Log in to Reddit. Through studying psychology in school I've come to realize we can be conditioned to react a certain way due to reoccurring situations (unpleasant stiumlus) parents yelling > we shut down, anxiety, hide away etc. My parents asked if I needed to pee before we left, and I said no because I didn't have to go that badly and I really wanted to be home. The last two years I’ve 2 different parents who I’ve had a particularly difficult times with in regard to them dumping all of their outside issues/ traumas regarding their lives with their child that is inevitably affecting their child’s capacity to learn. I was never hit, I had enough food to eat, I never ticked any of the "typical" child abuse boxes. You are worthy to be adored. Log In / Sign Up; Advertise on Reddit; Shop Collectible Avatars; I had one legitimately big trauma—my father died when I was eight—but the rest of my damage came from constant, petty things: my parents’ slightly-pre-boomer parenting methods, in which we got spankings for big things and occasional slaps for petty things—but we weren’t bruised or injured and it was far from every day. Past when his body and mind are exhausted. 0 coins. I was a child, maybe kindergarten age or younger, and we had spent FOREVER at this car dealership or whatever, and we were finally getting to go home. She is precious, a treasure, and I And the way you abuse your committed partner, who is their other parent, causes them TRAUMA. When we come out of trauma and start to heal, or even if we don’t, we’re often so much better than the gen pop One conversation is not gonna change their entire upbringing. me and K go way back but A was her girlfriend so anytime i hung out with K, A was around too. We've got our fair share of problems to deal with. When I see those posts online excusing and coddling parents, all I can think about are their children being Society might call our type of touchless trauma tiny. I talked with my therapist about my family, too, and recognized how abusive my parents are. e. My parents did nothing about it. But here's my advice: strive to be better than the previous generations, including your own parents. The values that worked in So that means that trauma is very individual. Even having immigrant parents who rely on you and don't know how things work in a new country can take a serious toll on kids. Lots of just horrible things that I didn't see until I became a mom that play out in my head when they're in another room with anyone. Hes bedridden and sleeps most of his days with minimal I got over my trauma from middle school bullies because I turned out better than the worse of them. Start by validating your own experience, and all the emotion that comes with it. In the case of child abuse from parents, that kind of thing happens because they themselves were abused or neglected as children and so they pass the trauma and fear onto their children because they never resolved it themselves. It would require such a large overhaul of how parents are educated to raise their children, when it's estimated that anywhere from 17-25 percent of adults show significant signs of suffering from generational trauma and most of them are firmly in denial of that. As a survivor of real child abuse, I I'm typically the type to run to Reddit to see other's thoughts to supplement/affirm my own, but after scrolling for all of 60 seconds, most of what I saw was post after post showing disdain and contempt for Ginny. Both of my parents contributed to trauma, but in very different ways. Inactivity, sedentary lives kill them sooner. Our relationship was officially 2 months but we had been pretty intimate for more like 6. In order to break the cycle and heal yourself, you have to learn to forgive those who hurt you the most and accept Personal anecdote as someone who has trauma from parents. Now with social media and all this technology, it continues, even if you leave school. You are worthy of having your heart held. Trauma is physical, similar to muscle memory, and mental, similar to anxiety or depression. I won't be able to completely heal until I'm out of trauma completely, but there are definitely ways to start healing before you get out. Does anyone else get a full life trauma dump from their parent? Is it to elicit From what I understand, you can never fully heal from trauma, however you can become tolerant to it until it has little to no effect on your life. Parent dies. Members Online • cerealfailure. His parents did not love him properly and eventually he chose to accept their logic (I feel) as an attempt to avoid resentment. ADMIN There is lots of different abuse/neglect in her history and she has been coached by bio parents to not talk to drs especially about her parents. I would try to escape during fights and would have nowhere to go. Emotions are something we shouldn't hide or suppress, pushing them down only How many engineers you see who never wanted to be an engineer because that was the path decided by their parents. In times of stress—which are likely frequent while How parents who've suffered abuse and trauma can handle being triggered by their children. Open menu Open navigation Go to Reddit Home. That was several years. I just think we use the word trauma very loosely. Instead of my pain defining the power of my trauma, I worked on changing my perspective to my healing defines my own Even if a child experiences FOMO, it should be a result of their own decisions rather than imposed restrictions by either parent. Most of the behavior comes from the movement from corporal punishment to gentle parenting and the recognition that most previously-accepted forms of discipline were actually abuse. God I wish I'd learned about this 20 I feel as though I carry real bad trauma everyday. Understanding that your parents are just people with their own trauma + having compassion for them. I see a lot of people however that seems to truly think that a retail customer being rude to you is trauma, or your parent not giving you what you wanted for Christmas is trauma. reReddit: Bill has a lot of childhood trauma from his parents that he chooses to laugh off . I guess everyone is different, but while BPD isn't always caused by childhood trauma or cptsd, it is almost always linked to another mental illness that can cause trauma just by having So my parents went to Germany for 2 weeks, and my grandparents came to watch us. It just triggers me and I get so flipping angry. This article discusses signs and im not a psychological professional of course, but i will say yes!!! it is absolutely common for our past trauma of any and all kinds to leak into your new relationship. There are varying degrees of this in houses with parents with substance abuse issues, their own untreated trauma, or just young parents. Also, do you have any friend your age you can talk to and share experiences ? I wouldn’t say my parents are financially-illiterate because they knew the basics. Throughout adulthood, you might feel something is not right and not know why. I developed stress ulcers and the medication I was taking But trauma is trauma in that the event that traumatized created very real trauma no matter what the event was. It's less activating than EMDR, so DBR ends up being more gentle, which we really need as abuse survivors. Till all the parents stop just focusing on only college and degrees, the education system will remain flawed. Oh, yes, there's some traumas that therapy and medicine can never dull. He’s likely bi polar, adhd and autistic, he’s in a period of mania and he pushes himself. After that, I had more trauma and then depression and anxiety before and after being pregnant. Instead of trying to get your parents In my case, I chose to accept my parents being who they are, and started seeking a deeper parental figure mentorship relationship elsewhere from some of my older friends who already have that sort of relationship. That was because I was talking to my parents at the time, and as you know, abusive parents like to gaslight you so you actually believe you’re crazy and nothing happened. I kinda realized last year that I had no clue what went on in the world And deep brain reorienting, which helps resolve old trauma triggers down in the brain stem, below the limbic system. I am extremely trauma bonded to my mom and can’t stop obsessing about her and the future. But both main characters in Fighting to Forget have hardcore childhood trauma that majorly fucked them up. note: i was madly in love with J, but i was manic so saving our friendship was the least of my concerns because i It’s a trauma response. Hurt people, hurt people As for the void, I used to have that. And if you've been struggling with mental health then those little things can affect your more than people without. I started treatment for PTSD from my marriage nearly two years ago. I think it just occupies a space in my life now and I make room for it and some days it takes up a lot of spaces, some days less. Then, they'll project their feelings that have been confirmed by their experiences and restrospeftive analysis and minimize their option to account for protecting themselves from all the triggers and links to the Grew up with a personal computer, I was online at the age of 10-12, (roughly 2000-2002) my parents didn't understand or know what the internet was either, but I got my way and got it. I got into college at 16 so there that. Many may regress their thinking to an old style of how the world should work Cultural clash. Like being disciplined by hitting or other scare tactics Advertisement Coins. It is very healing to treat yourself with the love you needed and never got. i’ve This is a safe place for the unfortunate souls who have experienced the trauma of Intimate Betrayal and its dibitating effects. I just moved on and made new friends. Because the differences that childhood trauma induces in an individual are rarely clear cut, and are often processed unconsciously, your trauma starts to manifest physically more than usual. I’m female too, but even the more liberal women I knew supported my female abuser over me, despite her extreme conservative views. I think that's probably what your therapist meant. I can't physically have a conversation with my parents anymore. But new studies show that childhood verbal and emotional Lots of sexual trauma. I "rejected" a lot of men, on the surface. Other than that what all of what u/Dota2TradeAccount said was right on point. If it is Even the best ones at naming and describing trauma (The Body Keeps the Score, Complex PTSD, Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents) make recovery seem incredibly difficult, if not impossible, especially for someone like me who can't afford a therapist. I am seeing a psychiatrist. I might be the only one aware of it and who refuses to keep my head in the sand But ironically they (at least the side I had a relationship with, my dad's side) turned out much, much better than my parents, even though grandparents literally had to fear for their lives, saw their houses being burned down, their parents deported, people dying etc. They just didn't connect with me, nor I with them. But look under the surface, and you'd find that I was actually This sub is dedicated to people who were raped with degrading medical procedures such as enemas and suppositories as children and have developed a trauma, often sexual trauma through these. I have a narcissistic parent, I was forced to grow up quickly, parents never took time to play with me for gods sake i dont know how to ride a bike. This is also a place for friends I've done a lot of CBT and ERP therapy for my OCD and made great strides. The more I speak with my CBT /ERP therapist and talk to friends who came from backgrounds of abuse, the more I have journaled and pieced together that my OCD really started when I was 9 years old as the result of multiple traumas at home. So when he becomes a parent he puts himself first at the expense of his kids. We'd alluded to them in the past, but we had never I’m 42 and it’s only been recently as I’ve worked on healing myself that I have noticed my parents trauma responses. So the apparent trauma is from the care-giving and being a patient advocate; however, one of the intrusive thoughts is of my dad on his death bed. It all sounds good until it catches up with you. they will probably IFS (Schwartz) & 'parts work' for trauma related dissociation are technically not the same thing, although they are often used in conjunction with one another. Generational trauma comes down to an adult whose childhood needs were never met. They just stood there and watched as my mother deprived me of one of my basic 119 votes, 170 comments. At some point, I thought, "Parents who sacrifice themselves by stopping generational trauma are the real unspoken Heroes of Humanity. In the last house, we had both mouse and roach infestations. It's a nice, entry-level exploration of generational trauma, and I personally would like more. I don't think you can get C-PTSD from trauma you experience as an adult, if you had a developmentally typical childhood. Gaming. Depending on the severity of your trauma, it may affect your ability to maintain healthy relationships with your children. That was how they chose to parent. The video was essentially, parents being irrational with the way they make decisions (i. It Don't let fear parent, let LOVE parent it's more effective. We believe that this is due to the duress of feeling like an outsider in your immediate social surroundings and not being able to clearly identify why. the only real way to get over it is to talk to a professional, but in the meantime reassure yourself when you know you’re feeling anxious because of trauma, and let your partner know what you’re feeling. My existence is like the background of a picture and my mother wanted to chase me out of the house if I hadn't spoken about how I sacrificed Actually the C refers to the fact that the trauma happened during development, and that trauma during critical developmental windows has very different effects than trauma that happened as an adult, even if the trauma lasted for the same amount of time. Carefully, patiently bc it isn't Trauma dumping is a bad thing, even though it's common, and you also don't have to necessarily have severe trauma like most, if not all, of us on this sub do in order to trauma dump. I was horribly bullied and when I came home, upset, my parents didn't address it as they should have. Generational trauma starts the cycle of abuse I think any huge trauma is going to impact and change brain chemistry, which will then react to the trauma according to genetics. I was an ideal child, always first in There are lots of time when instances with my daughter triggers flashbacks. These infestations were so bad that we had to start keeping As someone who has been through a SA, and even though my parents love me, their issues impacted me and also caused more little t traumas, I use the phrase everyone has some form of trauma not to ever make someone feel invalidated, but rather as a statement to create space for people to talk more freely about the things they have been through It’s actually a super fascinating topic, if you look up “trauma and the brain” on YouTube the very first video is really good and explains also how trauma effects the storage of memory and stuff as well. My parents never deep cleaned and never made us do it. Naturally, when my parents found out like a week later: OH my GOD you manipulated your grandparents. 8 months ago I'd been ranting about a stressful family situation and one of my friends pointed out that it was emotional abuse. You, as the victim, have already done more than your fair share of work The ball is now in their court and it's THEIR job to come forward and take accountability, that's if I was so mad and disappointed with the way my parents talked to and about my brother that I went straight to him and suggested that we leave at once, and that we did. Not only can the memories of these experiences be debilitating, people with trauma often pass that trauma down, creating even more trauma in the process. Valheim Genshin Impact Minecraft Pokimane Halo Infinite Call of Duty: Warzone Path of Exile Hollow Knight: Silksong Escape from Tarkov Watch Dogs: I don’t know if I’ve fully processed the trauma of watching both of my parents pass 6 weeks apart. And when I say I just stopped going, my parents would drop me off and I'd go inside straight to the nurses office and either throw up or lay on the cot. It's beautifully done and easy to digest. It has gotten a little bit easier with timefor a while I had trouble To a degree, yeah; you can't be consumed in it 24/7 or you won't get anything done. You couldn’t escape it. People who want to But, obviously given the generational trauma she’s helped ensue, it couldn’t have been everything she’s cracked it up to be, which is still sad. We want to offer support to the victims and raise awareness for how damaging these procedures can be to a child’s developing brain. When he recalls moments in his childhood that his parents completely let him down he just laughs and says “Oh I was devastated! But in hindsight, THEY WERE RIGHT! It’s title says it all. As I healed, I started to recognize some unhealthy patterns in my childhood family. Forgiveness is for people who want a reciprocal relationship with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is rarely discussed in public forums, even though healthy connection to others is an integral part of healing. Right now I don't feel loved nor wanted around. If the event or events caused you stress that you couldn’t cope with and you were unable to integrate the emotions in a healthy way, it was traumatizing. Learn to appreciate having both of parents around you, not everyone has that growing up. In retrospect, we didn't have much in common. I wrote down the list of all Short term and long term plan. Let's learn from their mistakes and make a positive impact in our own lives and the I am not a bad child. It’s been two years and I’ve had to accept that this is how my life will continue on. Therefore, simply reliving the trauma is ineffective as you solve the mental part, but not the physical Parents that don’t have the capability to be a “perfect” parents due to generational trauma, mental illness or societal issues aren’t always “bad” parents. They chose to be parents and I’ve spent 18 years correcting their damage. Unwittingly causing her own kids I’m trying to come to terms with and better understand how my parents treated me as a child so that I can heal. People think that trauma is like a headache or a This sub is dedicated to people who were raped with degrading medical procedures such as enemas and suppositories as children and have developed a trauma, often sexual trauma through these. Very few parents can raise their children without trauma--parents are almost never flawless for one, but also trauma just happens in many peoples' lived regardless of how the parents are. You are their child. I'm still in the midst of trauma myself, but I have been making progress healing from past trauma while experiencing new trauma. I had bad parents and it’s not my job to make anyone feel better about the shitty things they did. Have always been addicted to something, and I've always had weaknesses in me. You're a liar, you're deceitful, you're I always had a rocky relationship with my parents but I figured they were just shitty parents. The guy screamed at me over $10 for a haircut, while he spent $20k a year on his RVs. Sometimes, they didn't even reject me. In my head if they are in trouble and in another room even with people I trust like my Both of my parents have actively worked on themselves, through treatment programs and lots of therapy, but I can’t seem to move past the trauma they caused. I asked my Nana to drive me and my girlfriend downtown so we could go on a lunch date. Usually the behaviors stop after 10-15 minutes or when we leave the building. Explore . Our parents only knew what they experienced- it was normal to be an addict and fight non stop. The ineffective responses are the trauma in the present as the original event(s) fade further into the past. Can abuse from a non family I got treated to a ring side seat as my asshole father beat my mother. Premium Powerups Explore Gaming. My parents are all helpful and "whatever you need!" It feels akin to them breaking my legs and then saying, "dont worry! We'll get you a wheelchair, whatever you need" I wouldn't need the wheelchair if you didn't break my legs. My parents were saving small amounts very inconsistently while living quite frugally. Significant others and friends are all welcome. Instead of trying to attribute new, loving words and actions to emotionally distant past parents, imagine talking to and cuddling and meeting the needs of your younger self. Long story short, I had a friend who used Skip to main content. My granddad chosen my name when I was born, since they looked after me. I know my parents are not good for me, they've caused me a lot of pain and trauma, but at the same time, I guess I still have guilt over it. Also got a divorce because I have such unhealthy relationships with women my entire life and realize a ton My parents don’t like me even mentioning it and I’m definitely not allowed to say how it impacts me I get yelled at for posting about it on facebook I’m year 8 with a severe TBI I fell 6 meters down my stairs by tripping over the hem of my dress in my house in Bangkok while I was living and working over there it’s was a nightmare in hospital not understanding what was going on and This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). My clothes came in boxes from older cousins and toys only came on Christmas and birthdays and were always generic/offbrand. Just please use it when something is actual trauma. Then the I think childhood emotional neglect trauma creates a lot of suffering and many, many people are completely unaware of it. At some level, trauma in the past and our habitual responses to them in the present are actually inseparable. Children feel the distance from you, cheaters, and you KNOW it I remember she told me that a girl deserved to get sexually assaulted if her parents were liberal. This is a peer support community for those who have undergone prolonged trauma and came out the other side alive and kicking, but with wounds that need tending. Enter foster care. Back when I tried talking to them about it (once I was an adult and parent myself) they always deflected with the, “You didn’t have it bad, I had it so much worse!” excuse. So, I started learning and practicing daily self Trauma itself can contribute to poverty, compromised parenting, diminished attachment, chronic stress, and unstable living environments, which can directly impact children and their development. To the fathers of Reddit, if you want your kids to grow up hating you for the remainder of your days, let them watch you beat their mother. So the name that my granddad choose, that became my middle name and the name my parents named me, became my first name. Parents should not allow a child to love one parent more than the other. It's not just good son bad mom, there's nuance and that's often what generational trauma looks like. (For what it’s worth, I’m a license social worker I firstly don't compare myself with anyone whether it's my siblings or parents because your healing trauma will depend on how much support system you had with you to counter with this effects. For my Dad is was a recent visit. By my parents. A lot of the times, the abuse is often a spawn of whatever emotional turmoil they have with themselves too. My parents are still in denial. Now, I'm not here to say that all parents are bad. My trauma is still my trauma, and it's "power" so to speak hasn't changed because I'm not angry about it anymore. This is also a result of the change in who holds . These behaviors are actually quite common in most American parents of the last 30 years, not just black parents. Trauma is a heavy word with a lot of implications. Archer's Voice by Mia Sheridan. Hi Reddit. Sports. They're both brain based treatments GenX Asian parent of a young child here—wasn’t until I was a parent that I realized the full extent of my (mainly) mom’s Asian overreach. ADMIN MOD Parents having experienced trauma themselves is no excuse for them to deny and double It's a sadly common situation. The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed. We had conversations about that and what that would mean for the relationship going forward. They did not share my i replaced my best friend, whom i’ll call J, with my other friends K and A. Childhood emotional neglect is a lack of emotional attunement that fucks up the central nervous system (trauma) Generational trauma passed down subtly as each generation nonverbally learns from the actions of the previous Immigrants. My mum was a relatively good mum but was haunted by the abuse she suffered from her family. I got financial support but as I began to do a sport very competitively, as much as my whole life rotated around that, I never had the support My parents divorced when I was like 13 and they have been much happier these past two decades separate than they ever were together. I've been disconnected from my parents for over 7 months now, but I still find it hard to make up my mind as to whether this disconnection is permanent. Bullying isn’t what it was when my parents were growing up. It's hard transitioning from a land where you were the top dog to a land where you're now at the bottom. I 100% agree. That might mean going to places where your parents can't find you and have space to do what you need I always knew a little about the concept of Complex PTSD, but I always had the preconceived assumption that CPTSD was developed from people who had been abused emotionally or physically by their parents. Expand user menu Open settings menu. I'm sure the ability to We kind of guessed how to do that where we were flying blind, and I'm sure some of our parents slipped through at times, but the results speak for themselves. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to deal I have lasting trauma from one small event in childhood. Reddit . This is also a place for friends and family of the victims to come for support. I went through a rough breakup and I was enlisted for 2 months but, it It wasn't exactly trauma, but to deal with trauma I became an alcoholic (been sober almost 7 years) and I feel like I really missed out on 5-6 years. She wondered about the man who had Hello, currently in my 5th year this year. Your parents trauma/mental health does not excuse the trauma they inflicted on you. But because they’re immigrants, they started their finances at a much later stage than most people here and kind of missed out on some aspects of budgeting. The idea of justice intrigued and confused Lily. Also, Split where the MMC had such horrific childhood trauma he is still learning how to be a functional adult and has developed some interesting ways to cope. Parents can't contact me for to restraining order. I’m so very sorry you Most people I knew had parents that were pretty much the same. For context, when we had gotten together, it was a few months after her ex had broken up with her. And sadness. r/CPTSD A chip A close button. Ive read that happens a lot for people with traumatic childhoods, that they can re-expetience their trauma as a parent seeing the world through the eyes of their kid. Fast forward to adulthood in the army. 128 votes, 43 comments. I'm not an expert here by any means, but can say that I have clearly identifiable events in 0-3 years that were stupidly formative and I have acted out my overadjustments in the opposite direction multiple times in big ways, and it sets a rather normal operating basis for aspects of how I conduct myself in the Edit: Remember you are not their parent. What happened to me wasn’t trauma. I (21m) had a recent breakup with my girlfriend (23f). Reply [deleted] • Yesterday, she emailed me an extensive trauma dump. Downplaying our traumas as "not that bad" is a way that we try to protect ourselves from not-yet closed wounds. It could be because I am so late in facing what my childhood was actually like - especially now that i Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is rarely discussed in public forums, even though healthy connection to others is an integral part of healing. Then I discovered Internal Family Systems therapy. The title kind of says it all. It would have been the same if my mother had stayed married to him, and probably worsened. Also, the Ideal parent figure protocol is a meditation designed by a great practitioner/doctor which helps a person reimagine their childhood with good parents to help heal those wounds and move toward a healthier attachment style. For me it was about changing my perspective. Back in 2012, the bullying people faced was horrible and cruel. although there was a fair amount of emotional abuse from my parents, i have a lot of “trauma responses” that don’t seem to have a root cause. My father was openly abusive to the family (including pets) and my mother was emotionally reactive (to everything, not just As many have pointed out, parents/relatives/families (from here on out PRFs), often cause a great deal of anguish and contribute greatly to our experiences of depression, anxiety, etc. I thought I was alone — and a terrible mom — but it turns out many parents with My parents would leave me in a dark room facing a corner “to reflect” for hours. Log In / Sign Up; Advertise on Yeah I get what you're saying. Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is rarely discussed in public forums, even though healthy connection to others is an integral part of healing. It's sometimes "I Compassion meditation is very beneficial for trauma recovery. This is true They were there when they abused you, so they would know what they did wrong if they cared. i (19f) was adopted at (technically before, my mom was in the delivery room and cut the cord) birth, and i still have a little contact with my bio family (i was the only child of 4 who was given up, which is interesting). While Schwartz does recognise the impact of trauma, he not go into much detail on the complexities of managing structural dissociation in chronically traumatised people (including DID Yet, the harsh reality of her parents' absence gnawed at Lily’s heart, stirring thoughts of justice and retribution in her innocent mind. So it seems, compared to war and sex crimes. Understanding the entire picture, as well as the idea that everything happens for a reason is what I’ve found to be the most helpful. Slowly I grew up to be a caretaker, who can go to any extent and lose herself to take care. If you broke your foot and your friend broke both feet, you still have a broken foot I was traumatized by an enema from my parents as a child; something done to help me with no sexual intent whatsoever, yet it traumatized me. After nearly a year since the last I feel so betrayed that I wasn't protected. But it's really a positive thing to tackle the trauma head-on in therapy and actively work on identifying the trauma, how it has affected you, and how you hope to change things in the future. My relationship with my parents remains as shallow and superficial as ever, and I'm okay with that now. I've seen Asian parents abuse their kids through their trauma. In a nutshell, trauma dumping is excessively oversharing about your trauma at an inappropriate time and/or to an inappropriate audience in a one-sided manner. But you're clearly aware that there is something wrong and that's your best weapon atm. I have been in therapy for a while, have used EMDR in the past and a few months ago started with a trauma specialist but I am not sure if it’s helping. Took me a long time to realize the abuse I suffered was NOT at home, but at school. The fact that they are in your life and doing their job as parents is something not everyone can say they have. I agree. The FMC stumbles across a lonely mute hermit Now, they may be made uncomfortable or be triggered by father figures, authority, money, spousal abuse, other words their parent said, that parents favorite things, etc. Please share your stories, your questions, your histories, your fears and your triumphs. I supported my mother, brother emotionally since I was young. I did find out she had been there for speech and OT a few years It took me a long time to feel like it was, well, okay to be okay. It also explains why my mom has been so mean and critical towards me. My parents have yelled at me so much growing up that when my boyfriend and I get into small arguments and he slightly raises his voice at me I get very sad and anxious BUT he doesn't quite understand my emotional trauma connection to that. . Related Reddit Ask Online community Social media Mobile app Meta/Reddit Website Information & communications technology Technology forward back. It was easier to do back then and I was secure enough in myself to know that I was not only good looking but, artistically talented. " They were the ones raised abused and neglected But somehow, the trauma seeped through. Something that traumatized me may not traumatize you. My therapist says it's like opening the old trauma file and adding in new information. Again am not saying that parents don’t want their kids to br successful, it’s the route they choose which is flawed. Your trauma would have left you feeling and being helpless in many ways. In fact, as I can attest to myself, the ineffective/harmful responses we cling to end up being far more pain than the original harm ever was. You can have people who can take a life with almost no symptoms of trauma, yet you stick them in the same room as a narcissist and I’d love to hear from anyone who has been through or is dealing with a similar experience. My father (West African) had lived through a genocide by 5, and lived in its This is a peer support community for those who have undergone prolonged trauma and came out the other side alive and kicking, but with wounds that need tending. I sat them down The trauma seems rooted in his parents financial struggles, but he took it to another level. I want to have a better understanding of what it's like to be Skip to main content. So, I felt compelled to offer an analysis of Ginny from the lens I saw her through as someone who is both a childhood trauma survivor and a crisis and trauma-focused I'm just concerned that parents irl who are passing on generational trauma are receiving the message that the pain they've caused is justified and acceptable because they have their own pain. A big example that fits me perfectly is needing to research something for hours before you buy it, and then often getting overwhelmed and not buying it anyways, even if it's A good friend of mine was raised by authoritarian parents. I experienced my parents' fights and My parents really confused me as a child because they brought me and my younger brother up as if we were poor, when I could clearly see we were actually fairly well off and my parents always had new clothes and the latest grown-up toys. See too many parents who will not do anything because they know children will come to their aid. ADMIN MOD People don’t understand trauma . They are responsible to the younger generation, but it's up to us to forgive them and see the better path, we don't need to pass on the torch of burdens. I've seen Asian parents abuse their kids because they felt jealous of what THEY bought them. Because you know what's worse than being raised by a stressed out mother? Being raised by stressed out mother who's being mentally abused. I'm sorry for your loss 🫂 and ofc it can cause trauma!! I lost my sister due to suicide when I was 12 and my therapist counts that as a trauma. A couple of years ago, my mom passed away from stage 4 cancer. No pure image posts. my parents had certain values that I don’t hold as an adult so I’ve had to learn new behaviors to undo the ones ingrained in my from childhood. Trauma is passed down and until people know better than maybe they can do better. Trauma isn't rational. Valheim Genshin Impact Minecraft Pokimane Halo Infinite Call of Duty: Warzone Path of Exile Hollow Knight: Silksong Escape from Tarkov Watch Dogs: Legion. One day, Lily overheard her grandmother discussing the upcoming trial of the man responsible for her parents’ death. We went to our homes, and on the way there my brother and I talked about our childhood traumas and mental health issues. From a young age, I was a “mature for her age” girl, and that’s always a good thing in such households. It was normal. You can sympathize with Drew's character as she grows up constantly having to reroute her life. reReddit: Top posts of August 15, 2022 . My power was stripped from me again and again, my Maybe a sibling dies or is taken away. r/AsianParentStories A chip A close button. And secondly because I wanted to dissociate from my trauma because it was too painful to go through all the emotions. For a full list of our rules/more information, when I remember the intergenerational trauma. I've had family abuse trauma, but I think I also have friendship trauma as well. If you don't want to share anything particular I would start by some resources like Identify emotional abuse so you can see if you can relate to anything. When I was a parent and my daughter was going through her those early days of tantrums and defiance (2-3), I smacked her on the butt In the case of child abuse from parents, that kind of thing happens because they themselves were abused or neglected as children and so they pass the trauma and fear onto their children because they never resolved it themselves. I had a decent childhood with parents who were good people. When it comes to childhood trauma, your brain may repress memories as a coping mechanism. A lot of the books I’ve read so far don’t really put generational trauma into the conversation, and seem to frame it as like the parents just being bad or negligent, either willfully or without thought, and doesn’t talk about the impacts of generational trauma causing their My trauma literally goes back farther than my earliest memories and I have trauma from both my parents, my sibling, my extended family, school, church, from “friends” and from my workplaces. Attendings who were Even then they didn't use me in their arguments, I was mostly clueless and my parents were very affectionate since they "missed me" because of joint custody. But let's be real, our generation isn't perfect either. You are worthy of having true partnership. It follows you everywhere and it can have disastrous consequences. You are worthy to be cherished. Is this a thing? This isn’t the first time - or even the 20th. So I my first name (the name being spiteful) then my two middle names. TLDR; Traumatizing our kids over mistakes is counterproductive. This last appointment I took her to for speech therapy, the behaviors have lasted for over 24 hours. There was general clutter everywhere, dust, and spiderwebs. I think it’s more that you spend a lot of time trying to mitigate your parent’s abuse that it gets you thinking pretty deeply about yourself, your value, your happiness. Top Posts Reddit . , being too frugal when it's not necessary) can have a huge impact on children's perceptions and decision making. It could very well affect you, and if you have a suspicion it does, it likely does. However, it doesn’t excuse either of my parents from the damage and trauma they’ve caused to their children. He won’t stop until a job is done because that’s how his father “ worked and he needs to live If you are playing the blame game- which i did for many many years and still grapple with- its a losing strategy. Here, we will lift each other up and support one another by providing our experiences, feedback, and resources to My Asian parents aren't as bad as a lot of cases here, but their results only driven attitudes, hypocritical takes, and Skip to main content. I’m the eldest daughter with significant gaps between siblings (about 8 between each sibling) and I’ve been having a tough time lately because I have just been feeling increasingly that I can’t rely on anyone (not my family, my long term boyfriend and i have broken up due to lack of support from him, and i was piled on so much at work that i had to quit That wasn’t trauma. But you also have to hold her accountable. Log In / Sign Up; Advertise on Reddit; Shop So I a mission in my life is to cut contact with my parents at 100% but I feel bad because "a son abandoning his parents" but hey, I'm Advertisement Coins. Short term you'll need to create space to heal. You are worthy of having support. NFL NBA I had the same problem. No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. That’s the type of person she is, but nobody cared except me. Now, at 26, I find it hard to believe the absurd things my father and mother taught me when I was a child. Whether you develop PTSD from a parent or someone when you were an adult doesn’t really matter by that time, what matters is the recognition of trauma in our society which will either prevent it from happening in the first This is a peer support community for those who have undergone prolonged trauma and came out the other side alive and kicking, but with wounds that need tending. You are worthy to have someone say, “You Elementary school was so bad for me I just stopped going and my parents had to home school me. Even many of the Another technique I read about was to pretend to go back in time and parent yourself. I'll also add situations where siblings are If at all possible work with a therapist that specializes in trauma or is trauma informed in their practice, that is really the best thing you can do. Idk where I got this assumption but I’ve recently learned that this isn’t necessarily the only cause of CPTSD. 90% of relationships started before age I'm sorry you've had to experience that, I also had a dad that raised his voice a lot. I always thought it was just my mom who does this, but I could use a sense of normalcy here. But my parents were spiteful and chose a different name. My main symptoms are intrusive thoughts and excessive crying. For many it has taken the form of a wide range of When I finally accepted the truth about my parents' mental illnesses, I realized that the shame and perfectionism that helped me survive my childhood was no longer useful. Something happened at the tail end I used to have extreme abandonment fear, it drove me into so abusive relationships that it almost killed me. Members Online • Rude-Corner4311. Or just stood by and ignored the fact that my legs were getting broken. I've seen Asian parents abuse their kids because it was "owed" to them. oriahswh qmfwva tvtq raft lnmjfe gxku nwhzzr gidphrlq eagzc exiupl